Router-guide for pinball plunger

We have created a custom router-guide for pinball plungers that have a better flow, release, and attack than what comes standard on most machines. The upgrade is optional and the difference in feel is subtle, but worth it for the pro-enthusiast. We prefer to use vintage shooter rods, which we tune in our shop, but if you would like a new construction, we can do that. Out router guide is secret and so after installation, we glue misdirections over it, similar to the interior of a Dumble amplifier (for those that know about guitars).

THE LAST TIME WE DID THIS, A GROWN MAN CRIED

This kind of modification to your machine with void the warranty, but we offer a lifetime guarantee of repairs if it alters the machine or a new model.*

The cost of this mod is based upon travel. Our blanket rate is $300 for inspection -- heck, that's our gas money to get out of our remote shop in the rural wilderness. 

COMPANY POLICY is that we will not work on machine with nudity or foul language. Pinball is a wholesome sport and we wish to keep it that way. MGBUY. 

Our rates will be significantly reduced if you provide lodging and meals. We will not negotiate rates without that condition being met. 

Our route-guide involves microphones, buttons, and USB lightning components, which we have created from scratch after heavy R&D. If you wish to be in the room while we make modifications, we will blindfold you, so you cannot steal our trademark secrets. In fact, this is all we will reveal:

"INFINITE JEST is just a really big book about my love affair with pinball." - David Foster Wallace, (RIP former client)**

*Subject to the list-price at the time of modification.

**Yes, our repairmen all wear bandanas that were designed by Wallace, shortly before his passing. YOU CAN NOT PHOTOGRAPH THEM.