PANSPERMIA

Panspermia is the theory that life on earth developed from outer space jizz. Rather than life arising from some freak combustion of whatever and whatever - thermal vents, sewer blowjobs? - the theory posits instead that from another place in the galaxy where life has already developed, a comet containing fertile jizz landed and inseminated the early earth.

Now despite this being slightly far-fetched and begging the question of how life was invented in that other galactic poophole, one must recall that the Solar System developed out of the cosmic semen explosion of other stars, jizz-vomit, a massive cloud of dust and gas - see the Pillars of Creation - the idea is not entirely unlikely as there was a lot of goop banging around in the early genesis of our galactic corner. The Sun was probably developed out of a cosmic nursery along with many other suns. In this massive jizz cloud - see the Nebular hypothesis - it's not impossible that some old jizz rock with extremeophilic bacteria was lurking around from some discarded old spaceball with similar earth conditions, waiting to impregnate the young earth once it finally manifested.

The aliens put semen in our minds as we speak.